What a painfully beautiful love
by MimiMaku
Summary: SasuNaru. One-shot. Yaoi. My heart clenched so very painfully at his words. My hands continued to stroke through his power, the things that made him different... His wings. We seemed to levitate towards each other, our lips melding together, our teeth clashing in a way that was painful; painfully sweet and beautiful.


**One-Shot! Smut, Lemon, NaruSasu, Yaoi, BoyXBoy love. If you don't like, don't read. **

**Disclaimer: **_I don't own Naruto for any of it's characters._

_However, I do own this story idea._

**There is lemon, so if it takes a little to get there gomen, but it will. **

**Read and review! Enjoy!**

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Reaching out, I felt as if I could almost touch them, touch _it_. They were cold, that much I could just blatantly tell, but they brought heat and warmth into my mind. Well, they brought the _feeling_ that they could be warm and hot to my mind. His back to me as I stared at the wondrous and sightful image of him, his face turned slightly so I could see just the faintest glimmer of his coal-black eyes. They were watching me while they scanned his surroundings, knowing that my gaze was focused on him and him only.

"How long..." I gulped, the lump in my throat growing increasingly heavy to subside as I spoke. His eyes slowly shut, the tension and emotion-fee atmosphere now being replaced with an almost sad, guilty air.

"You...never spent this much..." I was choking, slowly, my words losing momentum the more they were shed from my dry mouth. It was shocking, breathe-taking, _mesmerizing_.

"How long have you been like this?" His eyes never opened, his back arching and cracking. Leave it to him to be one to stretch under these situations. His shoulders rested once more, his demeanor still and strong, proud; captivating me with just looks. My mouth opened again, my words gaining an aggravated edge to them. "At least talk or answer me!" It wasn't a yell nor command, but I was growing impatient and my words were a soft scream to him.

"Hn..." His reply sounded like a test; they were testing how far I could withstand his patience. "Been like what, exactly?" His baritone always sounded sharp and edgy as if they could be any more laced with hate. They were trying to warn me off, or most; however, they just drew me to him. Underneath the hate and blood and pale skin of his I could _feel _the softness. I could _feel_ the love; _his_ love.

I cleared my throat, my fingertips brushing against his lower back as they fell to my side. "How long have you lived alone? How long...how long have you been able to reach out to me yet you never did? How much time have you...spent isolated?"

His eyes snapped open, a switch flipping inside of him. They tension in the air grew tenfold, turning from soft and guilty to strong and full of despise. The black in them were growing to an empty gray, like a color of a blind eye. "It was all necessary."

"Necessary for what, exactly? Necessary to leave me behind, to make me wonder for three years what was going on with you? Then was it necessary to leave me after we had rejoiced and you had told me of what you _were_; what you _ar_e? Tell me, god dammit, was all of_ that_ necessary? Because if it was I swear you are gonna regret it Sas-" The words were caught dead in my throat, his name never leaving my mouth entirely before he was standing in front of me. His eyes tore into my heart, the nails being pounded harder by the hammer which was his existence.

"I risked everything for you. I risked my _life_, my powers, my soul, my mind, my heart; _everything_! I risked what little family I don't have left, I risked my _home_, I risked my body. I...I risked you, your life. Your heart." The venom in his voice slowly decrescendoed as his volume did. My demeanor started to shake, my heart quivering as it ached. Everything was eerie, dark. It was freighting, crazy; _insane_. He smirked, the one that he could only accomplish by barely showing it and yet, driving me fucking _insane_. That word was coming up a lot now-a-days. Maybe it was because he was still on the verge of insanity; a word stemming from the root of _insane_. "Insane this, insane that; Is it all you ever think about?"

My head perked up only to hang back down from recognition. I had forgotten such simple things like this over time, huh? Pathetic I was, really. Crazy how situations in your mind can get turned around so easily. Well, no. Not crazy; _Insane_. "Stop saying such things. Words like those are never supposed to be spoken out of your mouth." His hand moved up from his side, barely grazing the side of my arm before flinching and retreating as if he had been burnt by the simple touch. Why was it always like this?

"I'm going to hug you now," It had become an unspoken rule that we simply say what we're planning on doing if it involved any touching. Without that rule we had been freaked out too many times.

I was hesitant, but I leaned towards his strong and lethal frame, my arms wrapping around his lower back. I shivered at the tiny bit of warmth that radiated off of his body, warming me up during this cold part of the year.

I held my eyes open as they traveled down to stare at the still unbelievable form that is this man I'm hugging; this man I love. My right hand traveled up his back absentmindedly, the pale body in my arms shivering. I could feel the grimace he held on his face.

"You told me you were going to hug, not caress my skin."

"It's part of a packaged deal, teme." I didn't realize what my hands were searching for, but before I could process it they were reaching out yet again to touch them.

"I can read your thoughts. Don't." Almost there...slowly, I can get there slowly. It's been so long, I forgot what they felt like. "I'm warning you, usarontonkachi." Almost...

I couldn't help but gasp at their temperature; they were freezing cold. The body in my arms spazzed violently and tried to pull away. "No, please. Please. It's been such a long time, I forgot...please."

"They don't...feel the same. I don't feel the same. Everything is different now, Naruto." My heart clenched so very painfully at his words. My hands continued to stroke through his power, the things that made him different...

His wings.

They were silky, his feathers, the points still very sharp. They were an inky black; an inky black that shone and seemed to draw you in. They were soft, oh so soft, but ice cold. They were different; I just couldn't tell how.

His wings suddenly moved and enclosed me within themselves. They protected me, guarded me; loved me. "I told you not to touch them."

"What good would it do if you could read my mind anyhow? You knew I was gonna do it either way, Sa-"

"Don't say my name. Don't you dare. Not outloud. Not ever." His wings squeezed me further, holding me almost a little too tight for comfort. Why did I like this man? Why did he draw me in and make me fall even harder as he left me for such a long time? Why?

"Because you know that I can protect you, be the one thing that you need." God dammit, stop doing that shit! "I'll do what I want, usarontonkachi." I sighed, closing my eyes as I rubbed against the scars on his back from the wings' first arrival through his shirt. It was obviously cut and sewn to fit his body. He shivered, something I felt in my own body and responded by the same action.

"I love you." Now the atmosphere held a deep silence. It was suffocating me.

"You say this every single time we meet again."

"I say these things because its true; you and I both know it."

"I can't say it." I died on the inside, my heart screaming and begging for release from his painfully addictive grasp. I nodded, understanding what he meant. I kissed his chest through the fabric on his skin, letting my hands travel lower on his body. It was a slow, loving motion I always shared with him. "You shouldn't love me."

"But I do. It took me five years until I could admit it, but I do. You know I do; you can feel it. I know you can." My hand traces circles into the arc of his lower back, his body losing some tension at the action. "I can feel your heart; I'm glad it's still there."

This pale, raven haired, winged-man I was hugging was my love, my bestfriend, and my enemy. It was painfully beautiful.

He stepped back, his wings leaving me and he faced the window yet again. My body moved on it's own accord and was hugging him from behind. I kissed his scars through his shirt, his shivers slow and erotic as I did so.

"Stop."

My right hand went to lift the side of his shirt up so I could slide my hand underneath it and caress his hip.

"Stop..."

My left hand began to unbutton his silk shirt; it matched the texture of his wings.

"Usaron...stop..."

My right hand moved up towards his belly button, my left pulling his shirt back and over his wings before they joined my right on the journey over his pale muscle.

"I won't say it again...stop..."

His words were breathless, cold, and venomous. I kissed softly at his scar, the skin burning underneath my moist lips. I licked teasingly, testing him; pushing him.

"I told you," he had me pinned against the wall opposite our past stances in an instant, his gaze menacing and laced with a hint of...regret? Guilt? Pain? I wasn't sure. He exhaled deeply before running the edge of one of his feathers against my side. "To stop." It cut through my shirt, the feathers as sharp on the points as I predicted. "You did not listen," They ran back down where my exposed skin was, cutting swiftly through my skin and drawing a small amount of blood. I winced, looking up at the creature before me and letting the pain sink into me. "Therefore you let me down."

His feathers cut my shirt more, disassembling it so it would fall off of me quickly. More blood flowed from my other side; the cut so swiftly I didn't even register it until the blood would flow. It was painful, the type that stung but not actually hurt, and I closed my eyes to try and get away from it. He was catching me.

I felt his cold breath on my neck, his lips radiating warmth onto the very same place. They didn't touch; they never did.

"You didn't tell me you were going to cut me," I felt his smirk against my temple. His movements were too silent.

"It wasn't intentional," I felt him inhale my scent. "Or at least, not to you."

I opened my eyes, watching him watch me. I leaned forward, ghosting my lips and breath over his own. I could tell I was quivering, as his wings began to flutter slightly as a notice of it, yet the raven leaned into my presence. Our lips touched, if only for a second, and we both jumped back.

We looked at each other, shocked at the electricity, and we began to levitate towards one another. "I'm going to touch you,"

He reached out and began to caress my cheek, his lips forming some sort of sad smile. "I'm going to hold you," He grabbed me by the waist and let his wings push me into him. He wrapped one of his arms around me and let his wings enclose me loosely.

"And I'm going to kiss you," His words were almost not heard; they were just breaths that were hastily muttered out.

His lips were soft, but not very, and held a firm position to them. He seemed to be holding himself back, pulling away quickly. My eyes were shut, my hands on his chest . His hand slid back to grasp my neck, pulling my lips to his again as he whispered a quick "and again,".

"And again," Our mouths melded together once more.

"Again," his words were slurry breaths that only I could understand; our lips automatically moved against one another, each interaction becoming longer than the next.

"One more," They sounded almost like a whimper; a plea. I nodded slowly as our faces began to perform their ritual, the temperature in the room, our bodies and our mouths rising dramatically.

I was glad I didn't have a shirt on.

My tongue slid between us, licking his lips and asking for entrance; for trust. He stopped moving, his body frozen, before licking my tongue with his own and claiming my mouth as his. He mapped and memorized every detail of my mouth as his left hand continued to caress my cheek.

I slid my hands down his stomach, feeling his fit and slim body as I reached the top of his pants. I pulled my mouth back just a tad before whispering to him.

"I'm going to touch you." I returned to my previous task and rubbed my thumbs around the skin beneath is belly button, moving them in circles as they slid underneath the hem and touched the top of his boxers. He pulled his mouth back in order to breathe in deeply and exhaling shakily, going back to bite and nibble on my swollen muscles. He whispered against my skin another time.

"Stop,"

My fingers played with the hem of his boxers before dipping inside just a bit, grazing and teasing his skin softly. He hummed in his throat, flinching at the action as he did so. He moved down to my throat, kissing it sloppily as he searched for something.

"Naru, stop,"

I would never stop. I have waited so long to see him, so long to _touch_ him. This man in front of me; this is the man I love. He must've been listening to my thoughts or else his wings would never have moved to rub against my back, slicing through my skin in some places. Even though no blood was drawn, it stung. It stung like how my heart felt to love this man; sweet and hurtful.

I shivered and groaned as the raven kissed a soft and sensitive part of my neck, rolling my head back to give him more room to nip and lick as he pleases. I pulled my hand out of his boxers and to the sides of his pants, tugging on them before unbuttoning them and pulling them down slowly.

"No, stop. Stop it."

His mouth moved away, his wings retreating to the safety underneath his skin; I never knew how they did that. He looked at me, his face showing frustration, hurt and sadness.

The moonlight glistened against his ghostly statue, presenting my with a full showcase of the man I love; his pants slipped down and exposing his boxers a tad, his shirt off, his face confused and emotional.

All because of me.

I walked to him, his feet moving back one as I went forward one, pushing him a little rough when he was at the edge of my bed.

"I'm not doing this; it's stopping. I'm going to leave."

His body was rushing, leaving me behind. I had to react. "Sasuke, please. Teme, love. Don't leave." He froze again, looking back at me with sorrow before he was over me in a second, my body being supported on my bed by my elbows.

He sucked at my neck slowly, his hands tracing over the cuts he made earlier. Wincing, I traced my hands over his scars. His lips traveled down my body once they left my neck with a 'pop', kissing passionately all the way to my cuts. He licked at them, the blood going away and my pain leaving me. I forgot he could heal me like that.

My hands went to his hair, playing with the rough locks as I hummed in my throat from his actions. He stopped once the cuts were healed going to travel back up to my mouth. Our lips met for the billionth time that night and I took that as my time to flip out positions.

I straddled him, kissing him once more before kissing down his body and licking around his navel. His body shivered and twitched a bit as I did so, my body moving down, my hand going to pull down his pants secretly as I licked and nipped at his sides. His pants came off, neither of us wearing shoes or socks due to house manners, and my mouth moved over his slightly aroused member. I kissed it through his boxers, his groan cloaked by his closed mouth.

"Let it out, Sas-"

"Don't say my name." I shut up before I ruined the mood.

I smirked, rubbing one hand over his arousal and pulling down his boxers with my other.

"You, no, stop,"

"Shh."

I looked at his erection, fear swelling up in me for a moment; I didn't even know how to suck. He was beautiful, every part of him, and I sucked up my fear in spite of knowing this was my only chance. I licked at his tip experimentally, his groan escaping his lips this time. I licked down his shaft and back up, running my thumb over his slit at his tip.

"Shit, no, no," his words came out as groans, my eyes meeting his own lust-glazed ones. I kissed the bottom of his shaft before moving back up and putting his tip in my mouth. I sucked hard, earning a quiet moan from my love's mouth. I put more of him in my mouth, beginning to suck and swirl my tongue around his member when his hand found way into my golden locks. He pushed my head forward, his cock hitting the back of my throat. I gagged a bit, not expecting that and pulled him out until only his tip was there yet again. He moaned a little louder at the action, his hips bucking softly as I just swirled my tongue around his slit, toying with him.

"Naru..."

I started sucking again, my reflexes getting a bit used to the paler's impulses to shove himself down my throat. I opened up my throat and tried not to gag as he pushed me down on him again and held me there for a few seconds. I needed to breathe, so I swallowed and his moan was glorious. I pulled off of him and licked up and down his shaft, playing with his sack as I did so. When my lips touched his tip again, he held my mouth away.

"S-Stop, Naru, or you'll make me come."

I wanted to taste him; I was so curious.

"Ha-Hah, no, s-stop,"

I continued my previous actions, his hips bucking and causing me to gag again. He held my head as I sucked faster, knowin his release was close. His hips bucked twice, his cock slamming the back of my throat and causing me to almost puke. I tried to pull him back out to his tip but his grip was strong; he kept me there as I felt his seed pouring into my mouth.

He let go, allowing me to let his member out with 'pop' as I swallowed his cream; he tasted sweet and bitter. It wasn't a terrible taste.

I sat up, ready to straddle him as our positions were changed again and I was on my back. Our mouths clashed, our teeth hitting our lips in a painfully sweet combo, melding together as they always do. His tongue invaded my privacy even with his own taste still present, one hand supporting him. His other hand seemed to be busy ripping my sweats off of me, my own cock twitching through my undergarments with anticipation and excitement. His lips pulled away from mine, three fingers making themselves home in my abused mouth.

My boxers were shed, my tongue coating the raven's fingers with our 'lube'. They were pulled out slowly, our eyes meeting as they did so, shivers and growls running through teme's body. He pushed my legs up, my knees resting against his stomach, and kissed me deeply. I could feel his heart beating, his love; it was all in this kiss.

"I'm going to touch you, and it's gonna hurt." He said as he pulled away.

He shoved a finger in me, kissing my neck and rubbing my arousal as he slid it in and out. It didn't hurt, it was just uncomfortable. I groaned, my member glad to have his touch. He enter a second finger, scissoring me and stretching my virgin hole.

I felt the pain.

However, his actions were clouding most of it. His third finger went in, stopping before he continued on with his preparations. He kissed me, nodding as he stared into my pools of blue.

"I'm going to fuck you, and it's gonna hurt. A lot." He spat of his own member before kissing me with the most passion I have ever felt.

God I loved this man.

A burst a pain shot through me, my body freezing and my voice coming out as a whimper.

God I hated this man.

After a minute or so, I shifted a little and let my body calm down from the sudden intrusion. I nodded at him so he could move, and once he started, he didn't stop. I don't think he cared that it was my first time; he was fucking me like he said and it was hurting like he said. His movements were quick and fluid, my body screaming at me in protest. He sucked on my neck, running my member as he had done earlier. Soon, the pain was minimal and our pants and groans were all I could focus on. His thrust became harsher, pounding into me, slapping against my skin with no worry; and I adjusted to it.

"F-Fuck, I...uh..." His forehead rested against mine, our lips meeting for a quick peck at times. Our breaths and moans were pretty close together, our hearts racing with each other; I love it.

I love this man.

"Sa-Sasuke, un...Sa-Sasuke!" His movements became a little off then, his eyes closing tightly.

"I...I thought, uh, I said not to,"

I kissed him, his movements almost stopping at the emotions. When I let go, I looked up at him. "I love you."

He kissed me, again and again as he pounded into me once more. Our moans blended like pure lips did, my 'I love you's becoming his too.

He loved me.

"Fu-fuck, Naru! I, uh, I l-love you! I love y-you so much! I al-always have, hm." His thrust became erratic, my hips meeting him at off times.

"H-Ha, Sas-Sasuke, I love you t-too." Our climaxes came together, my seed spewing into his hand, his squirting into me. He pulled out of me, kissing me deeply.

"You're mine, Naru."

He wiped his hand off with my bed sheets, pulling me onto his lap and hold me tightly.

"I'm yours."

What a beautifully painful way to love.

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**Thanks to: Candicehrt for giving me some useful info on how to make it just a tad bit better. **

**Please please PLEASE tell me how you think, since it was my** **first One-Shot and if I should make it a short mini-series or not?**

**Review and Favorite!**

**Thanks for reading!**


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